Self-Love Practices to Build Inner Confidence: A Guide for Young Women
Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough? Do you question your self-worth and often compare yourself to others? Maybe you even think jealous, wishing you had what they have.
I firmly believe that self-love can combat these problematic feelings and help us know we are good enough. We stop comparing ourselves to others because we are secure with what we have, and we shift the jealousy to celebrating others instead.
Self-love is more than just pampering yourself—it is about building a safe and firm foundation of self-worth and resilience.
This blog will review small concrete actions you can start incorporating into your life to help cultivate a stronger love for yourself.
1. Reframe Negative Self-Talk & Embracing Your Unique Qualities
You are unique, and that is your power. Embracing your unique qualities is a powerful way to combat negative self-talk and reinforce positive beliefs. It's about recognizing your strengths and using them to build your confidence.
The first step to reframing your inner critic, who is to blame for negative self-talk, is to notice when these thoughts arise.
By noticing these thoughts, we can learn how to replace them with positive ones. This may feel uncomfortable initially; however, over time, it will become more manageable, and you will begin to see the positive impact of reframing your negative thoughts.
Tip: Write out your negative beliefs/self-talk and then rewrite them into kinder ones. You can also write a list of qualities and traits you admire about yourself to refer to when you have trouble replacing the negative with kinder thoughts.
2. The Power of Journaling for Self-Reflection
Journaling allows self-discovery and can help you understand your feelings while reviewing your core values. With that being said, journaling can be hard to get started. To take the pressure off of what to write about, it helps to begin with prompts.
The prompts below can provide a structure to your journaling practice.
What are three things that made me happy today?
When was the last time I felt proud of myself?
What unhealthy habits would I like to work on?
How did my day go today?
What do I need to feel supported right now?
Are there any uncomfortable feelings that I am struggling with right now?
Tip: When starting, set aside 5-10 minutes daily to write without self-judgment. If you cannot think of anything – write a gratitude list of 3-5 things you are grateful for. Gratitude is another way to increase overall well-being.
3. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Well-Being
Boundaries are essential for maintaining balance and feeling safe in relationships. There may be many reasons why you struggle with boundaries—fear of not being liked, trauma, insecure attachments, low self-esteem, and a dislike of conflict are just a few.
However, with practice, building stronger boundaries will become easier, and you will start to feel the benefits of setting boundaries: healthier relationships, increased productivity, safety, and overall health and happiness.
Tip: Start small. If you say yes to something and wish you had said no, it’s okay to communicate that you have changed your mind. It’s also OK to say, “Let me get back to you,” so you can think about it while honouring your boundaries. This will help you build confidence in setting boundaries in the future and make it easier to say no.
4. Engage in Activities That Bring You Joy
Engaging in activities that bring you happiness builds a strong sense of identity and confidence. It’s important to know what activities that you genuinely enjoy. Begin to write a list of 3-5 activities. Some ideas may be going to the gym, being in nature, listening to music, volunteering, dancing, drawing, or playing sports.
If you have trouble creating a list or are unsure about what you enjoy doing, now is the perfect time to start trying new things and becoming aware of your likes. Doing things that genuinely make you happy builds new skills, positive feelings, and memories. This simple self-connection can also enhance your self-worth and leave you feeling fulfilled.
Tip: Carving out space for your interests might require setting boundaries with others or adjusting your schedule. Consider this time non-negotiable—a date that you have scheduled with yourself.
5. Celebrating Small Wins and Progress
Acknowledging your progress and small wins, no matter how small, reinforces positive self-perception and self-esteem. One way to begin doing this is by sharing your wins with others. It might feel silly or like you are bragging, but people who genuinely love you will be proud and support you for these wins. You could also keep a list in your journal or phone to track daily achievements. You can often look at it and remind yourself of your strengths with a visual.
Tip: Remember that it takes time to feel proud of yourself. By celebrating your small wins, you will build inner confidence, and it will be easier to tackle the bigger goals you have set out, or that may feel hard.
Final Thoughts
I recognize that some of these suggestions may be cliché. However, they work!
Building self-love and inner confidence is a journey that often involves small, consistent actions that, over time, make the most significant impact.
I invite you to try 2 to 3 of these practices for a few weeks to see how they can positively impact your life. Take your time to explore these practices and be gentle with yourself along the way. Confidence grows with each step and every small effort you make.
Choosing to love and care for yourself is extremely brave and deserves to be celebrated.
